so as i lie on my bed i realize i am really thirsty…it just hits me “man i’m so thirsty!”, i think about my options…well i have some shitty tasting diet cherry chocolate dr pepper in the refrigerator…even though its nasty, its cold and the after taste will be bareable. then i have a week old half drinken gatorade on my bedstand…it was from when i was sick and probably has flu germs on it, but i could take the top off and drink it that way and it will probably be fine..but its not cold. then there is my cold dr pepper from dairy queen..but i forgot it at callies and its almost 2 am so i would feel like a jerk going down to her place and waking her up so i could get my nice cold drink, damn it. what to do, what to do. i think i will go with the gatorade. it may be room temperature but it tastes fine. and that way i dont have to leave my bed which is a huge plus. gatorade it is.
Archive for January, 2008
the thirst
wacky waco
As of 3 pm today i am back in wacky waco. It was so weird opening my apartment door for the first time in a little over a month. It was like i stepped into a new realm or somthing. Im kinda bored. So bored i even went to work for an hour or so even though i wasnt on the schedule, just wanted something to do. But its ok, i recently joined netflix so i have two movies waiting for me to be watched tonight. So for a quick recap….in waco, bored, netflix.
don’t just fast-foward
Sometimes there are just those days (or possibly those weeks, months or even years) where we wish we could just skip it all. Maybe something in our lives are draining us of our emotions and what feels of every hope we have left in us. I came across this quote by Dan Chopin, “Sometimes I wish life had a fast-foward button”, and I keep thinking to myself how that would solve so many of my problems. Having a shitty day? okie dokie lets just fast foward and skip it altogether. While this may be a quick fix, sadly i don’t think it would solve the problem. The difficulties in our life are what make us grow. Yes, they suck and and they make us miserable, but if we get through them things slowly will start to brighten up. While it seems it is us against the world, that one now non-existent problem can make all the difference. Although, if you are like me you feel as if you are in a losing battle…like the score is me:6, the world:6000, but with every boundary you cross it’s like you gain one more point, you are one step closer to conquering all your problems. You may read this and think there is no way in hell you or anyone else can solve your problem, but if you think like that your worst thoughts will only come true. So you have two options: either wait for someone to discover the fast-forward button to life, or take your life and all the problems that come with it and try to overcome all obstacles and difficulties so that even if it’s for one minute you feel you can take anything to world throws at you. Good luck.
today’s top picks
So, as usual, i really don’t have much to say…so i thought i could leave you with this. Here is some of my current favorite songs, well not exactly favorites, but they are on my most current playlist and have been listening to them nonstop for a couple days now…so that means something…right? You should download them b/c they are cool, and im cool, therefore you will be cool if you listen to them…
1. World Speeds Madly On - The Weepies
2. Stay Away - The Honorary Title
3. The Funeral - Band of Horses
4. Heatbeats - Jose Gonzalez
5. Good Vibrations - Gym Class Heros
6. Soon Enough - The Constantines
7. Temporary - Rogue Wave
8. Overdue - The Get Up Kids
9. Paralyzer - Finger 11
10. Love - Matt White (very different from the above songs…but i LOVE it..haha get it.)
well that is all i will put up today. i figured if i have nothing to say on some days i will just put some music i am currently loving or movies im addicted to at the time…make some use of this thing..who knows, my taste in music or movies may lighten someones day or even change the world! too optimistic?
the word on the street…
The word around the street is 2008 will be great. I swear, so many people have told me this and i know its just because eight rhymes with great. How clever. Not that im saying “no your wrong, 2008 is going to be shitty,” I really hope it is great because that would be nice for a change. What’s pushing me off of this “2008 is going to be great” deal is how we are only 4 days into 2008 and I know 2 seriously bad things that have happened to people i know. Its like its a bad omen or somthing. Once again, hopefully not. Oh well, lets try and be optimistic. One good thing that happened today is i finally got completely registered. Two of the classes I needed were full and i wasn’t able to get in them. They actually only would let me get into one but they let me into a different closed class so i am now full time. thank god. What really sucks though is how no matter what i do i cant get into this one drawing class. i have tried a total of 4 times now and cant get in it and its a pre-req for like all of my other classes. At least the head of the art department is letting me into other classes without that drawing class though. But it would be nice if one of these days i could actually take it. This semester i am taking Intro to Graphic Design, Adv. Photo II (digital), Fabric Surface Design, Italian Renaissance Art History, and Beginning Tennis. Anyways, it seems everything that needs to get done before i go back to next wed. is actually getting done. Berkman even got neutered today lol. Poor boy. What I am looking forward to when i get back to Baylor is my birthday! my birthday is the weekend after the first day of classes and its a 3 day weekend because of MLK day. It’s kinda weird to be turning 21. I don’t feel like i’m that old. I feel like im 18 still, like i’m forever a senior in high school…or better yet, a freshman in college. Oh well. Let me just end this by saying “2008 will be great,” maybe if i repeat it in my head a lot it will actually come true…that would be nice.
There arn’t many things that can bring me out of a funk….sometimes not even family or friends. The one thing that I can always count on is music, all kinds of music. If you know me, and you probably do if you are reading this, then you know i love ALL types of music. I listen to all types of music based on how I feel that day or at that moment. Its not always easy to read me or my emotions, but if you listened to the music im listening to at that moment you will know exactly how i feel. For example, one of my favorite groups to listen to when i am depressed or lonely is NIRVANA. No, i dont listen to NIRVANA when im depressed because the lead singer commited suicide…its the lyrics, the melody, the SOUND. Its my emotions. Its like the music understands what im going through. Sure this is not always the case…sometimes i just havn’t changed the cd in my car so ive been listening to bon jovi or the hairspray soundtrack for two months solid…im not talking about those times. Im talking about the times when it seems no one else will understand what im going through at that moment…nobody will understand how i feel at that time. There are also the times when im on the top of the world…on those days i leave the oldies and songs of the past. If im having a great day i will probably be blasting any song from the 60’s…or any fun song of the 80s. If i just want to relax and listen i tend to listen to the ONE TREE HILL soundtrack…it sounds weird and it actually has nothing to do with the tv show. I had never heard of 90% of the artists on that cd, and now its one of my favorites. I just sit and listen to the lyrics…some of them are so powerful yet soothing at the same time. On days when i may miss my mom or my dad chances are i will listen to led zeppelin or the doors or the beatles…anything classic rock. To me its amazing how something so simple as lyrics or a tune can change my mood. Its almost as if a complete stranger is healing me, rather then the more obvious choice of a friend or family member. Maybe you have no clue what im talking about..maybe you do. But i leave you with this…the ONE TREE HILL soundtrack (its actually just a lot of songs on the tv show) but listen to some of it sometimes…it soothes me. I even used to sleep with these tracks playing…they really work. So maybe it will soothe you and let you forget of some of the crap going on…or if this doesnt help and your depressed/pissed/lonely i highly recommend NIRVANA.
One Tree Hill Soundrack - hope it works for you like it does for me
1. Be Yourself - Audioslave
2. Someday - Brian Greenberg
3. Lonely World - Brian Greenberg
4. Mixtape - Butch Walker
5. Gather the Horses - Charlie Mars
6. Son’s Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope
7. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
8. Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World
9. Return to Me - Matthew Ryan
10. Sidewalks - Story of the Year
11. Re-Offender - Travis
12. Lie in the Sound - Trespassers William
13. Easier to Lie - Aqualung
14. Empty Room - Marjorie Fair
15. Always Love - Nada Surf
16. Concrete Bed - Nada Surf
17. Please Please Please - Shout Out Louds
18. For Blue Skies - Strays Dont Sleep
19. Hope - The Submarines
20. Halo - Haley James Scott (actually character played by Bethany joy lenz)
